You are one of my favorite writers of all time. Hannah, this is too funny! We have had to do so much speech therapy around these parts: that darn "world" is asking a lot of our tongues with the "r" followed by an "l."
I’m sorry you went through all this but happy you turned it around to make it humorous. I think many of us have had varying degrees of orthodontic woes - it thankfully only took a 6 month expander to fix it, but until I was nine I had a cross bite AND an underbite. 🥴 my mouth was like this emoji’s mouth
When I was about 10 or 11, an orthodontist wanted to put me in braces for no other reason than a gap between my two front teeth (which self-corrected by adulthood), so I am super suspicious of Big Orthodontia. I’m also forever thankful for my university professor mother, who didn’t trust the orthodontist because he couldn’t name any scientific studies showing that orthodontia would help in a case like mine (she quizzed him on this, as you do).
But as a speech-language pathologist, I am SO SORRY on behalf of our entire profession that Deborah didn’t just refer you to an SLP who specializes in adults! And I would certainly hope that a school SLP could no longer pull off a multi-year long fraud, but I guess you never know. 😅
Haha no need to apologize on behalf of everyone! It's truly just funny to me. And I think I sound okay now? (Maybe listen to the audio and let me know lol)
LOL I love that your Mom was like this too. My Mom was (is) a successful lawyer and she would grill anyone. I hated it as a kid and it was sometimes a bit excessive, but now as a parent myself I see how important it was that she asked questions!
laughed the whole way through this!!! i remember when you got home from Deborah's office but forgot about the sock bit. LOL. love that you tied it back to no human being able to tame the tongue. well done my friend <3
this is hilarious. I also have unique jaw things and can relate to the terror of the specialist’s office 😅 you have a much better sense of humor than me!
I also love the idea of a speech therapist fraud. Reminds me of my truly sinister fifth-grade math teacher (an elderly woman) who openly hated children. I feel like that couldn't happen today!
As someone who has had a lifelong vendetta with orthodontia, you have my sympathies!! I had the palette expander, braces for five (five!) years that included oral surgery, born without a set of twelve year molars...this is literally just a skimming of the saga, there is much more.
My teeth started to crowd again pretty seriously by my mid-twenties so after my first baby (still making lawyer money at the time) I got veneers on the top six. Not exactly an ideal option, but I was originally told to get braces AGAIN and I was like...absolutely not. I can't.
Now I have another ten years or so before my veneers wear down and my teeth get to torment me again!
Just when I thought we couldn't be more kindred spirits hahaha
I had the palate expander (can remember my mom cranking it open, ouch), I also had a "tongue crib" (Google it) that did not work, then braces for 3 years I think. I am glad that my face looks normal from the front though lol (for now?). Check in with me in ten years too, I'm sure it won't be good!
in another kismet moment, hannah, i too was in speech therapy from essentially pre-k to 6th grade (yikes). i guess now i am grateful that i didn't have to do it in a closet as an adult (this sounds like a euphemism when typed).
hahaha the euphemism. Love that you too were in the trenches, dare I say we are soul sisters? Also - if I was wearing supportive shoes that day I wouldn’t have had to pay for socks!
wait I had my skull chopped like this when I was 16 and…my bottom jaw and my chin chopped off to reattach it (that part was cosmetic—why did my mom sign off on that). I used to eat sandwiches and the lettuce would slide out from my teeth because mine didn’t connect in front either. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it out unscathed 🙃 but also I don’t remember the recovery being that bad I just ate a lot of mashed potatoes and refried beans because I got tired of ice cream.
Feels great! Not sure my life has dramatically improved but it's been over 15 years since I've been like this so who knows. I will say the way they had to cut my bottom jaw went through a nerve and (they warned me this might happen), I never regained feeling in my lower lip/chin. Super weird at first but I don't really notice it anymore haha. The things we're convinced to do! I feel like I'll never even get my kids braces no matter what their teeth look like.
You are one of my favorite writers of all time. Hannah, this is too funny! We have had to do so much speech therapy around these parts: that darn "world" is asking a lot of our tongues with the "r" followed by an "l."
Our poor tongues are asked to do so much without any heads up!
“When I was younger” okay 😂
My jaw doctor took a look at my x-rays and audibly sighed
You truly hate to hear it
I am dead!!! ☠️ cackle laughed my way through this 🤣🤣🤣
you're probably the only reader who knows all the settings: Coppell, C Stat, and now Dallas! you have a special connection to the story hahaha
Hannah, we need more of this writing in the world. 🤠
So our second-born had a fused suture in the skull when he was born, and it was diagnosed a few weeks after birth. There were two options for surgery:
-minimally invasive surgery that just takes the strip of bone out (3 months old or less)
-open skull surgery, which my husband YouTubed and from which I did not recover (over 3 months old)
You might guess what we chose ASAP. anyway, skull chopping is not ideal!!!!
these doctors are WILDIN'!
I’m sorry you went through all this but happy you turned it around to make it humorous. I think many of us have had varying degrees of orthodontic woes - it thankfully only took a 6 month expander to fix it, but until I was nine I had a cross bite AND an underbite. 🥴 my mouth was like this emoji’s mouth
Haha always tough to look like an emoji😂 Glad you also made it through your woes! We are resilient
When I was about 10 or 11, an orthodontist wanted to put me in braces for no other reason than a gap between my two front teeth (which self-corrected by adulthood), so I am super suspicious of Big Orthodontia. I’m also forever thankful for my university professor mother, who didn’t trust the orthodontist because he couldn’t name any scientific studies showing that orthodontia would help in a case like mine (she quizzed him on this, as you do).
But as a speech-language pathologist, I am SO SORRY on behalf of our entire profession that Deborah didn’t just refer you to an SLP who specializes in adults! And I would certainly hope that a school SLP could no longer pull off a multi-year long fraud, but I guess you never know. 😅
Haha no need to apologize on behalf of everyone! It's truly just funny to me. And I think I sound okay now? (Maybe listen to the audio and let me know lol)
LOL I love that your Mom was like this too. My Mom was (is) a successful lawyer and she would grill anyone. I hated it as a kid and it was sometimes a bit excessive, but now as a parent myself I see how important it was that she asked questions!
I’m learning to be more like that! Maybe not quite as intense, but I guess we’ll see. 😂
This is the funniest thing I've read in the last week!
Hahaha thank you I'm glad you liked it ♥️
laughed the whole way through this!!! i remember when you got home from Deborah's office but forgot about the sock bit. LOL. love that you tied it back to no human being able to tame the tongue. well done my friend <3
“But you need to take your shoes off to enter the play space. Do you have socks?”
Thank you for this!
$2 down the drain!
I'm cackling. I actually gasped about that crazy surgery!!
SHE WANTED TO CHOP MY SKULL!
this is hilarious. I also have unique jaw things and can relate to the terror of the specialist’s office 😅 you have a much better sense of humor than me!
Thank you, Megan! And may all our skulls remain unchopped!
amen!
I also love the idea of a speech therapist fraud. Reminds me of my truly sinister fifth-grade math teacher (an elderly woman) who openly hated children. I feel like that couldn't happen today!
Hahah yes I'm like "how did we get here?"
As someone who has had a lifelong vendetta with orthodontia, you have my sympathies!! I had the palette expander, braces for five (five!) years that included oral surgery, born without a set of twelve year molars...this is literally just a skimming of the saga, there is much more.
My teeth started to crowd again pretty seriously by my mid-twenties so after my first baby (still making lawyer money at the time) I got veneers on the top six. Not exactly an ideal option, but I was originally told to get braces AGAIN and I was like...absolutely not. I can't.
Now I have another ten years or so before my veneers wear down and my teeth get to torment me again!
Just when I thought we couldn't be more kindred spirits hahaha
I had the palate expander (can remember my mom cranking it open, ouch), I also had a "tongue crib" (Google it) that did not work, then braces for 3 years I think. I am glad that my face looks normal from the front though lol (for now?). Check in with me in ten years too, I'm sure it won't be good!
in another kismet moment, hannah, i too was in speech therapy from essentially pre-k to 6th grade (yikes). i guess now i am grateful that i didn't have to do it in a closet as an adult (this sounds like a euphemism when typed).
hahaha the euphemism. Love that you too were in the trenches, dare I say we are soul sisters? Also - if I was wearing supportive shoes that day I wouldn’t have had to pay for socks!
wait I had my skull chopped like this when I was 16 and…my bottom jaw and my chin chopped off to reattach it (that part was cosmetic—why did my mom sign off on that). I used to eat sandwiches and the lettuce would slide out from my teeth because mine didn’t connect in front either. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it out unscathed 🙃 but also I don’t remember the recovery being that bad I just ate a lot of mashed potatoes and refried beans because I got tired of ice cream.
Ahh!!! A survivor! So glad the recovery was not that bad. How does it feel to have teeth that touch again?
Feels great! Not sure my life has dramatically improved but it's been over 15 years since I've been like this so who knows. I will say the way they had to cut my bottom jaw went through a nerve and (they warned me this might happen), I never regained feeling in my lower lip/chin. Super weird at first but I don't really notice it anymore haha. The things we're convinced to do! I feel like I'll never even get my kids braces no matter what their teeth look like.
So crazy!! Yeah we'll have to see if my problems are passed down to the kids. Ideally no chops for anyone!